that had been so long that i didnt wrote here.and this is the first time that i writing here using an english. And i dont want to think twice for the grammar because only me that is know about this and maybe only me that will be read this..(Except other two person which is eventually and accidentally found this blog ~~~omG)
A lot of things happened during a few weeks ago that i still can remember.Such as i was work hard for 10 hour starts from 9am to get Rm 50.And it was worth when i was feel free now.A news from home who was from mom make me felt very dissapointed with all of them over there.What are they thought about our life,about our family.But sure is it,life must go on.And i still have a felling to become a good daughter to my family.But surely now i cant.I just can be a good daughter for them in this world but not for the other world.The endless world.the world that will give me back what i already done.
MOM,DAD i will try to make myself become better for this year.but i dont know how.No..actually i know how.but my heart was getting black..what can i do ..when i talk about this,i felt very lonely.Seriously i need someone that can guide me.dad,u are rite about him.he either cannot guide me to the true path .Instead of that he already bring me and u to the wrong way.And i,i know that.But my believes to Allah is just a belief with never action.And this is the just a beginning actually.Dad,i dont know how to pull myself back to the beginning line when i almost in the middle.But i know dad,never has late for repent.But only me that never want to start a journey.
Whwn i start think bout this,seriously i cant breath like normal.i want tha peace,the peace that only come when i siton sejadah.And when i read the Quran.Dad,he is not a syaitan.But he is not a good guy to guide me into the true path.But he is good guy for other things.he loves me.he help me with no doubt,he try to give the best things.Now i remember and believes with some other opinion.Someone that didn have a believes on Allah even believes on Allah and His strenght,but never take an action on that,in the simple word is dont solat,he or she sooner or later will become a bad person.i believs that now.Dad,mom..i have a very drastic and very tough solution.But i scared to ..
To u Mr C,i dont know .sometimes i think to left u to save my life.but when i think it twice,i think that u also need me as ur saver.no one will help u i know u need urself to help u but u still need me.this things make me confius.the longer i keep this on playing track the bigger sins comes.i need to see someone.
