new post with new life begins but with same sins..

there had been a long time since i was last in writing here.even i myself dont count how many days i left this site ..but now,i have started a new life but still with same and old sins.i tried my best to help myself,being remember of my parent my mom,but that is me.a person that is lack of Allah 's knowledge..no.....it is actually not.it is not like that.i have enough knowledge about what i have done and what i will done.but ...SATAN is the most powerfull enforcement that will encourage every person that far away from Allah word..in the word of LOVE,it will burn u there.the place that will no one helps u.

it is all about myself.there is no one can help me even my parent.but there is one things that can help me.which is Allah word.i dont know what happened with me.im going far away from him.Im going far away like i never touch his mercy,im going far away like i never believes in him.it was all because he gives me everything that i need.eventhough i being hurted,but..now im ok ..since that i firgot to pray even in single word...

now,i make another mistake..i hurt myself,i torture myself,i crashed on my parent,really..i dont want to woke up when all sins had already burnt me.now..starting from i open my eyes until i closed it back,i never stop from doing sins. a few month ago,someone chased me because of she afraid of Allah's punishement.yes..she doing the rite things.she done many things for me to get in real..to make me realise that Allah is exist.yes i know god is exist. i believes in him.but the problem is i forgot to thanks to him.now,i found someone that i hope can make me come back to straight line.but it is not what happened. i hope he is know what i meant.but he is never changed.and same goes to me,i ever heard that some wiseman said..a good woman is for a good man.now,it is happened.im not a good woman,so i cant meet a good man.

my heart was full with dark point.i need something that is more2 powerfull to clorox it.i never count how long that i never pray,that i never sit on sejadah,i also never know that how many days that i never do doa',it was make me like i am an arrogant person.sombong dgn manusia sudah satu kerugian..sombong dgn Allah lagi satu kerugian spanjang hayat.

i am taking a breath with Allah air..i want and need to do somethings about it..i have made my self a promise..i want to see faezah,i think she is the one that can help me,..

i have already msg her.....